tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16857623080130549952024-03-13T09:49:46.285-07:00Graffiti of the SoulRants, ravings and oddball observations of the sights, sounds and feelings which belong to Moi! Graffiti of the Soul, letters, thoughts, ideas, hopes, dreams and disapointments. A bizarre paradox rolled into the life of one aussie guy searching for more whilst trying to free the shackles which bind him to his mid life crisis.Mr Perignonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05471506230949790911noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1685762308013054995.post-10570002843430779852012-02-26T12:20:00.000-08:002012-02-26T12:20:21.931-08:00Honesty is it Life's Biggest Fear?<div class="western">
For a few weeks after my break-up I was feeling
totally guttered, lost, confused, angry and I spent most of that time
moping around. While it wasn't a long term thing between Emily and I,
it was definitely intense and evolved into a full on relationship
very quickly.</div>
<div class="western">
<br /></div>
<div class="western">
Which brings me to my blog topic of Honesty and
fear.</div>
<div class="western">
<br /></div>
<div class="western">
At the time of our break-up Emily asked if we
could stay friends, I agreed. However, I place one single expectation
on friendships, that being it's a two way street. Without sounding
egotistical, I'm a friend of value - caring, generous, supportive and
someone who will be there to give help. To me it's once a friend
always a friend, no matter what!</div>
<div class="western">
<br /></div>
<div class="western">
Although she knew I was basically alone in
Adelaide, I figured she wanted to give me some space. It wasn't until
her PC broke down and she needed a haircut that she invited me over
for dinner. The only other time she called was when I'd moved out and
5 hours later she calls to say she missed me. Apart from that it was
silence. <br /><br />The night I went over for dinner turned a bit weird
when I received a txt message. Emily asked if it was Simon (a mate),
I said "no". I didn't elaborate on who it was but I could
tell by her body language she knew it was a girl. <br /></div>
<div class="western">
Reiterating it just went a bit weird from that
point. She then brought up the topic of how she explained to her mum
our sudden break-up. I guess everyone was a bit shell shocked because
she had made it sound like I was the one, her soul mate et...al. </div>
<div class="western">
<br /></div>
<div class="western">
Telling me seemed strange, out of place,
unnecessary. After all it was Emily who decided to call it quits, who
threw me back in the pond. She made it specifically clear I had to
move on, there was no chance of resolution and it was definitely
over.<br /><br />A few days later I sent her a txt thanking her for
dinner (she's a good cook), adding I didn't know why she felt the
need to tell me about the "us" discussion she shared with
her mum. It seemed a fair straight forward question, one
which I didn't see as confronting, it certainly wasn't put in a
context to make her feel bad. However the reply was anything but
friendly. It obviously struck a nerve. But why? <br /><br />If someone
calls a relationship quits and tells the other they have to move on,
and they do just that, why would anyone then turn around and say
things like, "you obviously didn't love me as much as you
claim."<br /><br />I never did believe her reason for breaking
up in the first place. In fact after 3 conflicting reasons, one
starts to see someone who is not being honest with how they feel. I
dare say the real reason was because I stood up for myself after she
disrespected me and humiliated me at a party we went to. </div>
<div class="western">
<br /></div>
<div class="western">
I found that
hard to understand, especially since she claimed to love me. I still
maintain her ideal partner is one who like me is easy going and laid
back. However, I think she wanted a guy who would ask how high when
she said jump - I'm not that type of guy. </div>
<div class="western">
<br /></div>
<div class="western">
Was it a coincidence? From that point onward she
became distant and 3 days later pulled the pin. I think that is the
truth to why she ended it.
</div>
<div class="western">
Anyway, our txt'ing end badly. She became very
defensive. I decided to be totally honest and tell her
exactly what I thought and felt. That didn't go down well either. I don't think I'm on her Chrissy card list anymore.</div>
<div class="western">
<br /></div>
<div class="western">
One of the positives which came from this ended
relationship with Emily, was a chain of events which led me to
meeting and befriending Simon who now I can call a good mate.
<br /><br />We were both in similar circumstances. One of the very few
times in my life when I was able to express exactly how I felt and
knew I would not be judged by a person who was going through the same emotional roller coaster. It's a very uplifting experience. It
certainly gave me the strength to pick myself up and get on with
living again.
</div>
<div class="western">
<br />I've found once I started coming to terms with how
I was feeling and moving forward, I've been able to see things more
clearly. </div>
<div class="western">
<br />Being honest is hard I'll admit. Doing so reveals
our insecurities and fears. It brings to light the real person behind
the mask, the one who seeks refuge from the storm. Which ironically
seems to grow more ferociously as we feed into it with our fear of
being honest.</div>Mr Perignonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05471506230949790911noreply@blogger.com0Adelaide SA 5000, Australia-34.9287264 138.5999453-34.954763400000004 138.5604633 -34.9026894 138.6394273tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1685762308013054995.post-7263349023522746202012-02-09T07:18:00.000-08:002012-02-09T07:18:32.206-08:00Internet Dating A Gift or a CurseThe older you get the chances of finding a partner who doesn't have any baggage gets harder. A few suitcases from the past is ok as long as you've dealt with the issues. However, since I started Internet dating, the number of women who wont let go of past relationship issues are staggering.<br />
<br />
I often wonder why bother joining an online dating site in the first place if, your going to treat every potential partner as an echo from your past and assume he's also going to emotionally screw you over. Frankly it makes no sense at all.<br />
<br />
Within a few days of joining eHarmony I contacted a lady who seemed to be on the same page as Moi and held onto the same ideals. Pretty soon we we're not only emailing each other but mobile texting too. Within a few weeks we met, there was instant chemistry and spark flew, yay!<br /><br />I honestly believed this girl was the one. However by mid Jan, some 2 months after we'd met, she pulled the pin and threw me back into the pond. Now I accept people for whatever reason don't gel. But seriously, everything was going well, actually better than well it was truly fantastic. <br /><br />But it seems that as soon as she realised she had deep feelings for me; was in love with me, the shutters came up and she commenced pushing me away. It's really hard trying to deal with this stuff. Especially when your head over heels in love with a girl who is now treating you like the plague.<br />
<br />
I tried to sort it out, find out why she was reacting like this but it's fucking impossible when your shut out and the emotions close down. It's even harder when she's telling you it's over and she's crying but her head disregards this and swing back into lock down mode.<br />
<br />
Anyway, after feeling like crap for a few weeks, I decide there was no point in being upset and best to move onward.<br />
<br />
Since then I've contacted and chatted to (email and some phone) to around 25 woman. Apart from one who I'm chatting to now, who seems normal, (I'll reiterate), the other 24 seem bent on emotionally fucking not only themselves over but see all guys as ass holes. Seriously, WTF is wrong with people these days. If you haven't got your past relationship issues squared away then don't sign-up to an Internet Dating site!<br />
<br />Mr Perignonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05471506230949790911noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1685762308013054995.post-10261156664800393362011-11-05T13:44:00.001-07:002011-11-05T13:44:55.859-07:00What's the secret to happiness?<p class="formspringmeAnswer">Don't know but if you find it can you tell me, I need a boost in the happy times department.</p><p class="formspringmeFooter"> <a href="http://www.formspring.me/ibeemetoo?utm_medium=social&utm_source=blogger&utm_campaign=shareanswer">Ask me anything</a></p>Mr Perignonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05471506230949790911noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1685762308013054995.post-22704016912882757192011-11-05T13:43:00.001-07:002011-11-05T13:43:01.319-07:00How would you describe yourself in 3 words?<p class="formspringmeAnswer">A profound paradox</p><p class="formspringmeFooter"> <a href="http://www.formspring.me/ibeemetoo?utm_medium=social&utm_source=blogger&utm_campaign=shareanswer">Ask me anything</a></p>Mr Perignonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05471506230949790911noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1685762308013054995.post-44549343575910510982011-11-05T13:40:00.001-07:002011-11-05T13:40:19.361-07:00What do you put on your french fries?<p class="formspringmeAnswer">Got to be McDonalds fries, I dip them in my chocolate sundae, it's the best!</p><p class="formspringmeFooter"> <a href="http://www.formspring.me/ibeemetoo?utm_medium=social&utm_source=blogger&utm_campaign=shareanswer">Ask me anything</a></p>Mr Perignonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05471506230949790911noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1685762308013054995.post-66057881414828623342011-11-05T04:42:00.000-07:002011-11-05T04:42:05.774-07:00Things Could Be WorseDo you ever want everything? Is getting everything even possible? <br />Can someone be happy, successful and contented at the same time? Maybe, but it's hardly ever seen. I suppose Sir Richard Branson is all of these, he seems to enjoy life but does he have regret also?<br />
<br />
Take no notice of me I'm just in one of many mood changes which, seem to be a daily thing for me lately. I feel frustrated, at times I feel lost, others I feel centered and knowing where I'm going. It's a strange and complicated ride I'm on. I'm like Melbourne; four seasons in one day.<br />
<br />
It's tiring when on a downer but exhilarating when on a high. Trying to make the right choice today is not working, leave it for tomorrow is my excuse but that day never comes, does it!<br />Mr Perignonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05471506230949790911noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1685762308013054995.post-8055911822929468822011-10-30T05:32:00.000-07:002011-10-30T05:34:57.058-07:00Death of Internet FreedomYou may recall the much publicised Australian Internet Filtering Bill which was set to go through Parliament and become law. Thanks to those who took a stand against this draconian step backwards, who like myself and other saw this as anti-Australian. Thankfully through the leaking of the URL data content to the Australian media, the Internet Filtering Bill died a sudden death.
<br /><br />
However today, I read the USA has a similar objective and has initiated steps to have a Internet Filtering Bill censor what Americans can view, publish and access via the World Wide Web. Although this Bill has not be passed yet, it certainly something which should be of concern to all Australians. If this Bill is passed, don't be surprised if Australia will follow suit - most times the political leaders of our Country mirror their actions on the USA.
Freedom of speech, democracy and our birth rights of being citizens of a "Free Country" all amount to jack, when these type of laws are thrust down our throats.<br /><br />The millions of brave men and women who gave up their lives fighting in wars to bring down tyranny and defended people's rights to freedom, would be horrified to learn of such blatant acts against its citizens rights.
<br /><br />As <a href="http://www.webpronews.com/protect-ip-gets-name-change-promises-to-censor-the-internet-2011-10" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Chris Richardson</a> from webpronews.com stated, "reading about PROTECT-IP, I’m reminded of the following scene from Revenge of the Sith:"<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/GNAHjsAnTd4?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />Chris goes on to say, "However, instead of applause, it seems that apathy or ignorance rules the day." What a spot on observation. A troubling lack of knowledge, more to the point, not too many people seem to give a toss. Ironically it's that I'm alright jack fuck everyone else attitude which will come back to bit these self interested people on the ass. Again with an ironic twist, they seem to be the first people to start bitching about their losses.Mr Perignonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05471506230949790911noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1685762308013054995.post-63358424331656401182011-10-29T05:32:00.000-07:002011-10-29T05:36:52.239-07:00Echos From the PastMusic has the amazing power to instantly transport us to a memorable time and place. It captures the feelings, thoughts and emotions which live in us all. Occasionally when I get a little sentimental I take trip down memory lane. One of the greatest 80's aussie bands to come out of Adelaide Australia was Cold Chisel. Brash, in your face, an iconic aussie rock band. One of their songs, "You Got Nothing I Want", was a middle finger salute to their American record company Elektra.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://0.gvt0.com/vi/L_6NOIeziQQ/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/L_6NOIeziQQ&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/L_6NOIeziQQ&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object></div><blockquote><a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/SicklLad" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">SicklLad</a> over at YouTube nails it with... Yeah! Cheap wine and a three legged goat, Remember the song but not the lyrics. Was to fucken smashed back then.</blockquote><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://3.gvt0.com/vi/cFKxbr4_-Vc/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/cFKxbr4_-Vc&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/cFKxbr4_-Vc&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object></div>Mr Perignonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05471506230949790911noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1685762308013054995.post-17772324473955561232011-10-27T04:59:00.000-07:002011-10-27T04:59:18.469-07:00Why Can't People be Like Dogs!Just left to pick up some dinner, was gone maybe 20 minutes. Walking to the front door I can hear 'Harvey' (that's my dog) barking and whining - he's always so happy to see me. He practically turns himself inside out when I return home.<br />
<br />
Granted he's probably one of the most spoilt dogs in Australia, but I dare say it wouldn't matter if I fed him crappy dog food or didn't give him yummy treats, he'd still give me all his unconditional love.When I transpose how Harvey greats me and how he's just plain happy to spend time with me, to some of the relationships I've had, I really do sit here and think WTF!<br />
<br />
Is it too much effort for anyone to leave a note saying they're going somewhere? I don't think so. In fact I think it's just common courtesy. I'm sure if I took a week's holiday but didn't tell my partner where I was going she'd be right fucked off. And yes she'd have every right to feel this way. So why is it she's unable to leave a simple note when she left for work at 5:30am telling me she wont be home till 9:30pm cause of some training course.<br />
<br />
I don't think I'm being unreasonable.<br />
Hence why it would be cool if people were more like dogs.Mr Perignonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05471506230949790911noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1685762308013054995.post-32116241758685184932011-10-26T08:35:00.000-07:002011-10-26T08:35:30.497-07:00Signs, Signs Everywhere there are SignsToday was one of those days I managed to get some banking done in daylight hours. Maybe it's that country town friendliness where even strangers say G'Day, whatever it is the cute blond teller asked me, "how I was going and what I'd been up to?". With the essence of decadence and debauchery still fresh in my senses from last week, I thought it best not to be too honest. Instead just commented on the usual and left it at that. She followed with an update on her activities. <br />
<br />
She always smiles at me and if my body language skills are true, tilting her head and running her hands through her hair could be a sign she likes me. But, what does one do?<br />
<br />
I've never been one to pick-up on the obvious, it takes me a while to join the dots. If I happen to fancy someone I just come right out and say it. Albeit I haven't always been like this but it does makes life a lot easier. I try to live with the no regrets policy. As much as I try to embrace that philosophy it doesn't always work out that way. The language of sexual attraction is a tough one, especially for a guy these days. I think it's even harder (no pun intended) as the rules of engagement have change so much. <br />
<br />
Whilst I've always held the belief that everyone; male or female, has the right to be treated equally, I must admit I'm a gentleman through and through. Yes, chivalry is alive and well within me. Being like this becomes really confusing sometimes. Things like, do I open a door, pay for dinner, offer my jacket if she's cold, it's a mind boggling mine field when you get down to the nitty gritty of dating etiquette in 2011.Mr Perignonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05471506230949790911noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1685762308013054995.post-91451088773562495042011-10-25T12:33:00.000-07:002011-10-25T12:33:55.276-07:00Insomnia - a Sick Joke or a Blessing in DisguiseI take comfort in the solitude which night provides, it provokes my best thoughts and it teases my senses. Add a good bottle of red to the mix and my philosophical thoughts cascade onward and outward into the universe. Sometimes shared with those who accompany me on this journey, in that place in space and time.<br />
<br />
<br />
Yes, I'm a self confessed night owl, an insomniac personified.<br />
<br />
I guess it doesn't help when my business clients are on the other side of the big pond. Though in all frankness I can't use that as an excuse as I'm awake more often than not at night and more often than not I sleep during the day. For whatever reason I just don't seem to be able to function for any extend period if I sleep at night. I can generally do it for a week or so but then I let the side down and pull a 24 hour gig. I know, I'm a lost cause.Mr Perignonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05471506230949790911noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1685762308013054995.post-19759335877300890762011-10-25T09:52:00.000-07:002011-10-25T09:52:50.943-07:00Best Before This Date!I'm not too fond of shopping at the best of times, maybe why I tend to only shop at boutiques where I'm known. My routine is rock up and have the staff fly around picking clothes for me - trying them on is a PITA but a necessary evil. <br />
<br />
Pondering that thought and albeit maybe it's just my fucked up thinking but it's a pity relationships can't be like that too, it would make my life so much easier. <br />
<br />
For some reason which seems to always escape me I wake up one day and realise I'm somewhere I don't want to be in a relationship. It's like catching a cab. You tell the driver I want to go to the city, the driver nods but you end up at the airport, go figure! <br />
<br />
The pessimist tells me I'm just fucked at relationships, while the optimist says, I haven't met the right woman yet. Myself, I think a little of both is at play. To be on the safe side should I learn Swahili? Because it's clear speaking plain English is not working for me.<br />
<br />
Ironically I can turn a sows ear into a silk purse; can make money without breaking a sweat. Hell, my expectations in any relationship are not high. If anything it's wanting to feel needed and appreciated. To clarify, there is an old Swedish Proverb which goes, "<span style="color: magenta;">Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it</span>." <br />
<br />
If you haven't guessed it by now, I'm smack bang in the middle of a relationship quandary. Tossing up whether I should stick around and try to work through our issues, <u>again</u> or simply resolve myself to the obvious. It's a hard call weighing up the pros and cons. It's even harder when I ask her does she still love me and she replies with a strong yes. However her actions don't make me feel wanted much less loved. <br />
<br />
Must admit I've got a bad habit of making wrong choices when it comes to relationships. Not saying I end up dating fucked up units, I do however seem to end up with women who have communication issues. If being unable to say what I feel to the person I love, instead having to put pen to paper is any indication things are not great, then that's certainly where it is right now - an emotional roller coaster.Mr Perignonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05471506230949790911noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1685762308013054995.post-27699093204229562692011-10-24T12:47:00.000-07:002011-10-24T12:47:23.128-07:00Calm Before the Storm<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Is it a pink sky at night a sailors delight or a Shepard's warning? That saying always leave me scratching my head. Laying in bed at a bit after 3am; never under estimate the advantages of insomnia. On that almost still night 19'th Oct anyone could have been convinced a thunderstorm was approaching. That day in Adelaide wasn't that hot but humid. Its slimy wet tentacles reaching out and lashing at ones body making me feel like I'd run a marathon when I'd only walked a few 100 yards. <br />
<br />
The previous day I'd checked into a funky Adelaide hotel a stones throw from Hutt Street and was looking forward to a few days R&R with a special friend - yes a girl if you must know. For those with a curious mind, no she's not a fuck buddy. I'd like to think of her as a friend with benefits and a mind as deep and inquisitive as Moi! If she wasn't half my age and I was in a younger mans body I'd certainly entertain the notion of pursuing her interests on permanent basis.</span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">To set the record straight, yes I'm attached but not married. Does that make a difference these days? I guess not. Think of me as you will most people do. Personally I don't give a shit either way. Especially when the only difference between myself and others is I act on most of my impulses. </span><br style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;" /><br style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Are these common traits for a mid-life crisis? And no I don't drive a flashy European sports car. Been there done that. Probably why I'm finding it even hard to adjust to the fact I'm at this cross roads right now. <br />
<br />
I've lived what most would label an exciting life. The entire gambit which is synonymous with that lifestyle of fast cars and even faster women. So you can probably understand my confusion. I've always held the belief guys who have a mid-life crisis are those who got married young and didn't get the time to live out their dreams. Well, that blows my theory out of the water!</span></span></span>Mr Perignonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05471506230949790911noreply@blogger.com0