I'm not too fond of shopping at the best of times, maybe why I tend to only shop at boutiques where I'm known. My routine is rock up and have the staff fly around picking clothes for me - trying them on is a PITA but a necessary evil.
Pondering that thought and albeit maybe it's just my fucked up thinking but it's a pity relationships can't be like that too, it would make my life so much easier.
For some reason which seems to always escape me I wake up one day and realise I'm somewhere I don't want to be in a relationship. It's like catching a cab. You tell the driver I want to go to the city, the driver nods but you end up at the airport, go figure!
The pessimist tells me I'm just fucked at relationships, while the optimist says, I haven't met the right woman yet. Myself, I think a little of both is at play. To be on the safe side should I learn Swahili? Because it's clear speaking plain English is not working for me.
Ironically I can turn a sows ear into a silk purse; can make money without breaking a sweat. Hell, my expectations in any relationship are not high. If anything it's wanting to feel needed and appreciated. To clarify, there is an old Swedish Proverb which goes, "Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it."
If you haven't guessed it by now, I'm smack bang in the middle of a relationship quandary. Tossing up whether I should stick around and try to work through our issues, again or simply resolve myself to the obvious. It's a hard call weighing up the pros and cons. It's even harder when I ask her does she still love me and she replies with a strong yes. However her actions don't make me feel wanted much less loved.
Must admit I've got a bad habit of making wrong choices when it comes to relationships. Not saying I end up dating fucked up units, I do however seem to end up with women who have communication issues. If being unable to say what I feel to the person I love, instead having to put pen to paper is any indication things are not great, then that's certainly where it is right now - an emotional roller coaster.
No comments:
Post a Comment